Right now I am so mad I could throw something. But instead I write this in the hopes of getting it out and not actually throwing anything. I went through a year and a half of someone telling me my every flaw, and now he is starting on the same stuff. Telling me not to drink juice or coke because it is bad for me. And now he is asleep and I am up, writing and watching tv. Not wanting to go to bed because I know that it will be tomorrow night before I can say anything. By that time he will have forgotten that I was upset and it will once again be me making a big deal out of nothing. Or at least that is what he will say, and once again I will let it go because I'm still not used to being able to really say what I want. It doesn't help that he and I are now in the last 30 days of being in the same state. On May 31th he will move to Florida and I will be back in Columbia with my parents. A nine hour drive will separate us and there is no guarantee that we will see each other every month.
He wants me to move with him, but honestly there is nothing for me down there. He has his mom and more opportunities to further his career. I would leave everyone I know to move somewhere where I don't even have a job. He had a job when he moved up here and many friends. I would have him and that is about it. And while he is amazing, I really don't want to follow him all around kingdom come with out being married. So it bothers me that we won't have a discussion (fight) that we should, and that he wants me to pick up and follow him without a safety net. And I want to have that fight and the safety net.
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