If you can't say anything nice..... I might as well blog about it

I am about to start cleaning house on my facebook. There are people on there that I never talk to, never really have, and do not plan on talking to in the future. But then I start to think about the "what ifs" when it comes to deleting people. They say that if you aren't friends on facebook then you really aren't friends, and the ultimate snub is to un-friend someone. But there are times when I just don't want to see certain people, so maybe I will hide them from my feed, because then I haven't un-friended them I just don't see what goes on with them.

The reason I say all of this is because of a girl I went to high school with, who is not a friend per-say but maybe more of an acquaintance. I was able to give her some good advice on her up-coming wedding and thought that she and I were friends, but I have not been invited to her wedding or bridal shower. So fine, we are not friends. Or at least we are not good enough friends to invite to events such as that. But does that mean that we should not be friends on facebook? Is facebook the ultimate status on friendship, or should you count that as just people you know who also have a facebook account? Or should we go by what the Bible says? Are we not supposed to be-friend all whom we come across in the name of our Lord? This kind of also ties into a situation that is going on at work. I am at a point where I can not continue to work for some of the people in charge because of how they treat people and their feeling of entitlement and how they overtly lie to the district manager. So the job hunt has begun anew. Yet I am struggling with how to interact with these people until I find something new.

My question for now, is what is the test of friendship? Is it "being friends" on facebook, is it actually knowing the person and doing things with him/her, or is what God has told us? Or is it simply being nice to person to their face but not really caring about them? Does friendship have a universal meaning or do individuals have their own definition? And yet could there be different levels of friendship, with the most shallow being a farce and the deepest being something akin to family? If it is the last suggestion then I am sorry to say that I do not have many friendship like that and am not sure if I ever will. So for now I do not have much to say that is nice about people, thus I blog to get my feelings out so I do not explode about any of this one day for no reason.

A New Path... possibly

Tomorrow night begins a new path for me, one that I am not completely sure I am meant to take but I know I am called to try. I am interviewing to be a children's and youth director at a church in downtown Charleston. I have been fighting a call for years and I finally accepted that I am meant to work in the church. I may still be fighting a call to be ordained but that I am less sure about that than I am about working in the church. And I know that working with children is part of my future, and being a director of children's ministry may just be what I am called to do. All that I know for sure right now is that I am scared about this interview. My new path may begin tomorrow night, but then again it may not.

Not sure where life is going

Ever have periods during your life when everything feels unsettled and you aren't totally sure where the next road is going to lead you? I'm having one of those times right now. There is very little in my life that feels secure at the moment, and yet the things that do are huge. I can not begin to express how happy and secure I feel with John and how his presence in my life makes other things feel less chaotic. And I have the support of my family and friends no matter where this road is going, and that is amazing. But many, many other things are not as settled for me. My job is not one I want to have in six months but the one I would love to have has not let me know anything regarding my application. My living situation is not exactly perfect, in that I have stuff in Columbia and split my time between West Ashley and Mt Pleasant when it comes to sleeping, but all my clothes are in West Ashley. I don't pay rent, which is a blessing, but also means that I do not feel like I can treat it as my home. It also doesn't help that my parents are not very settled right now and that John's location could change in April. He says there is only a 40% chance he will be moved, but to me that is still a large number.

I do not do well with feeling this unsettled. So I take control of what I can, and try very hard to leave the rest to God. Even though I know I should leave it all to Him I am human and want to take over when I can. So I'm taking charge of the infection that is in my body right now. My incision from my surgery became infected and after being on an antibiotic for the past month and a half I'm done with playing the waiting game and want it gone. So hopefully by this time tomorrow it will have been drained and all the infection will be gone and I will be done with the doctor and medicine. That is what I am taking charge of, and I am going to try very hard to leave the rest to God and stay out of His way as He shows me this next road I will be taking.