Ever have periods during your life when everything feels unsettled and you aren't totally sure where the next road is going to lead you? I'm having one of those times right now. There is very little in my life that feels secure at the moment, and yet the things that do are huge. I can not begin to express how happy and secure I feel with John and how his presence in my life makes other things feel less chaotic. And I have the support of my family and friends no matter where this road is going, and that is amazing. But many, many other things are not as settled for me. My job is not one I want to have in six months but the one I would love to have has not let me know anything regarding my application. My living situation is not exactly perfect, in that I have stuff in Columbia and split my time between West Ashley and Mt Pleasant when it comes to sleeping, but all my clothes are in West Ashley. I don't pay rent, which is a blessing, but also means that I do not feel like I can treat it as my home. It also doesn't help that my parents are not very settled right now and that John's location could change in April. He says there is only a 40% chance he will be moved, but to me that is still a large number.
I do not do well with feeling this unsettled. So I take control of what I can, and try very hard to leave the rest to God. Even though I know I should leave it all to Him I am human and want to take over when I can. So I'm taking charge of the infection that is in my body right now. My incision from my surgery became infected and after being on an antibiotic for the past month and a half I'm done with playing the waiting game and want it gone. So hopefully by this time tomorrow it will have been drained and all the infection will be gone and I will be done with the doctor and medicine. That is what I am taking charge of, and I am going to try very hard to leave the rest to God and stay out of His way as He shows me this next road I will be taking.
No comments:
Post a Comment